Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
