I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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