she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
