i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
