I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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