sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
