Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
