So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
