I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
