Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
