I bet he comes in French.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
