Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just want nice things and good sex
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
