so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
