your room smells of hookers.
And success
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
