never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Less talking, more tequila
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
