If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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