I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
