My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
