Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
