Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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