Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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