Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
