Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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