her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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