please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize