i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
