super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
