you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
