So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
