I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
