Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
