this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
