Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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