just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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