Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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