I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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