ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
