i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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