She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
