whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
