I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
