When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
