I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
