I only kidnapped one of them. chill
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
