Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i now understand why vodka
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
