you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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