I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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