I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
