You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
