i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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