I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
